Your ideas and dreams matter. Let’s have the audacity to believe that, and act accordingly.
6 weeks. You, me, and some other righteous babes, exploring and nourishing your relationship with attention, so that you can…
- stop second guessing everything you wanna say and write
- increase your sense of psychological safety when asking to be seen and heard
- attract attention in a way that makes sense for you and your goals
- broaden your perspective of potential criticism
- leverage attention to do good through your biz
- move into alliance with other women
- and RELAX- there’s something so draining about having yourself on permanent surveillance- was I too much? How could what I said be misunderstood? Or alternatively- WHY AM I NOT SAYING MORE?! That can be such a weight to carry around- the possibilities that will never be realised.
We all know. Women who enjoy attention are *insert insult of your choice*.
I’ll offer a few examples of typical commentary on women who want eyes and ears on their desires and ideas.
- She’s so insecure.
- She’s such a show off.
- She’s uncouth.
- She’s demanding.
- She’s shameless.
- She’s embarrassing herself.
- She’s so full of herself. (Over and over I will ask, what else would she be full of? But lol ok)
Haven’t we also learnt that women who put themselves out there are somehow fair game? She’s asking for it. She knew what she was getting into. I know you hear the tone, and the way it reflects a wider culture of misogyny.
When women are used as props and ornaments to draw attention to things that corporations want to sell, that’s fine. But when women want to capitalise on, or otherwise benefit from attention on themselves, without anyone else profiting from it, everyone starts losing their minds.
Who does she think she is babes?! I often wonder, who would she need to be? Because in actual fact, there is no woman alive who can effectively balance all the characteristics that might permit her to be seen and heard without fear of negative consequence. We are each either trying too hard, or not hard enough. Too attractive to be taken seriously, or too serious to be attractive. Talking too much, or not enough. Think we are funny, or can’t take a joke, etc etc etc ad infinitum.
It’s NO WONDER we show up and speak up at lower levels than required for the realisation of our aims. It’s a risky business.
And all we are usually offered is stuff like
- Don’t you want it badly enough?
- It’s uncomfortable doing it, and also uncomfortable NOT doing it, which one are you gonna choose?
- Feel the fear and do it anyway!
- People’s judgements are all about them, not you, forget them!
All of these actually have some goodness buried within them, and they might give you the one off hit you need in a moment, but surface level instagram soundbites aren’t gonna get you the sense of safety you need to make sustainable progress.
Babes, we are going deeper. We are rewriting the storylines of our relationships with attention. We are laying foundations for lifelong change.
Attention Seizers is here...
It’s gonna be like this:
Our 6 weeks together begins with an Opening Circle– an opportunity to meet your fellow attention seizers, reflect on what’s brought you along, and your intentions for our time together. This session will be on zoom, and our Facebook group will open. (If you hate Facebook, soz- and so do I! I’ve deleted all my connections and I just use it for groups I wanna be in. The truth is, in all my years of running and participating in group courses, I’ve never seen anything work better).
Week 1- The Social and Psychological Risks Surrounding Attention
We will be unpacking the reality of showing up, as a woman in a patriarchal shitstorm, and naming the specific risks we fear when we ask for, or receive attention. You’ll meet your Inner Protector, and gain a wider perspective on your ‘self sabotaging’ or ‘getting in your own way’ behaviours that you might currently describe as blocking or limiting you, and your access to your goals. When the fear is a fog, it’s difficult to move through it, and tempting to imagine it’s ‘just the way it is for me’. But once we get clear about what is happening, and why, we can begin to make changes.
Week 2- Your Personal Attention Story
We will be exploring our individual Attention Biographies in a trauma informed fashion. Where Week 1 helps us to notice how our shared experiences of misogyny and being a human woman on a mission mean we have so much in common, Week 2 shows us that each of us also has a personal set of stories and experiences that our Inner Protector is drawing on to limit our visibility, and keep us safe. I’ll be guiding you to thicken up those stories, to reconsider and reassess them, and to begin to build a set of beliefs about attention that support you in living the life you really fancy.
Week 3- Attract It
Ok so we are starting to get to grips with creating a sense of safety, but what about how to actually go about asking for the big A? You need to know what you stand for, and have ways to express yourself that feel good for you. And guess what- you get clearer about what you stand for by talking or writing about what you think you stand for. I won’t be doing enforced instagram reels challenges, or similar, but I will happily answer any of your Qs about how to tackle that stuff. This week is about broadening your perspective on how to attract attention, and experimenting with approaches you may not have considered. I love love love to brainstorm ideas with clients, so put me to work.
But Kezza, what if it people ACTUALLY PERCEIVE ME…?!
Week 4- Receive It
In the earlier weeks, we are reassessing the level of risk actually associated with receiving attention, but pretending that we will never be judged or criticised, or that if we are, we can somehow just not care, is foolish. Not only is it human nature to be interested in how others are responding to us, being able to hold an awareness of how our message is landing is an essential part of our commercial acumen too. Furthermore babes, *sometimes* our critics are not just jealous dicks, but people we could reasonably learn from. I’ve had this experience a fair few times. This week, we will be learning a powerful process we can take ourselves through when real, or even just perceived criticism arises.
FYI we will also discuss dealing with receiving compliments and adulation, because guess what- these are possibilities we may be fearful of too!
Week 5- Direct It
I know you wanna do good through your biz. I know you wanna address the issues you care about appropriately, and leverage your success to enrich the world around you. Many of us opt out of this stuff because we feel we don’t know enough, and are afraid of being called out on our mistakes, or coming across as performative. Lots of us have observed the hostility of the online world intensifying during the Rona era, and found ourselves feeling further away from confidently standing in our values than ever.
Babes, you may or may not be in a position to send big chunks of cash to the charities, groups, causes and initiatives you care about. But attention is a currency too, and bringing your community’s attention (however few they may be) to the issues and people you value is a valid a form of impact.
We will be exploring how to do this appropriately, where to start, and how your goals for this might evolve over time.
Week 6- Attention Alliance
Overthrowing societal norms about women who like attention is gonna take a team effort. Our alliance with one another is essential. We will explore how we can make it safer for one another, and in doing so, change the culture in our corner of the real life and online world).
What’s also beautifully true is that interrogating and overcoming the responses we’ve been trained to have to other women, supports us in finding our own peace with attention seizing. There’s a sense of ‘people think like me’ that we carry with us, and normalising empathy for other women within, means a shift in our world view that’s win win.
Who are you to pay attention to on this stuff then Kezza?
I’m glad you asked babes. I’m Keri Jarvis, and I’m The Audacity Coach, leading a reclamation of ‘who does she think she is?!’.
You might know me as someone who dicks about on instagram a fair bit, spouting feminist propoganda. You might nod and lol along to my stuff without really knowing much more about me. Maybe you like my reels, where I’m closing in on 1 million views (920,000 at time of writing- adding that up was a job and a half). But. Whilst it demonstrates that I know how to get attention, and to do so with significant comfort levels in place, it doesn’t mean much if that’s all there is to it. So you can get to know me and how I have come to do this kinda work here…
I left my career in Retail Management and retrained when I had a baby in 2013, swapping sprouts and knickers for hypnobirthing courses, and teams of hundreds of people for me, myself and I.
I founded and developed Do It Like A Mother, (a company I sold in Feb 2020), largely via the magic of ATTENTION SEIZING.
Over 100 women have been through my group programmes Thrive Like A Mother, and Audacity: The Expansion, since I began mentoring, coaching and consulting for other small biz owners.
I recently trained with Sas Petherick’s Self Belief Coaching Academy, which has deepened my coaching style, and left me absolutely confident I’m operating in a trauma informed way.
Since consciously uncoupling from DILAM, and throughout these most bizarre times, I’ve been reflecting on who I am without it, and cultivating a personal brand that demonstrates that so that the best fit clients can find me. You can read about what some of those clients have to say here.
Babes, I’ve made a good living from my biz over these past 8 years. I’m not gonna start with the CONSISTENT £Xk MONTHS’ chat, because I haven’t done anything consistently through the Rona era. I haven’t launched a group programme like this for over a year- it didn’t fit with my other priorities, and I didn’t have the energetic or emotional capacity- I only wanna do something like this if I am ALL THE WAY IN on making it magnificent for all of us. And I want my biz to ebb and flow with my life. I’m ready for this.
What I can tell you about my success story is that over the years, I’ve used the power of Attention Seizing to...
- build and engage audiences
- develop meaningful relationships with potential clients
- earn money that’s made an enormous difference to our lifestyle as a family, and freed up some of my time and energy to be active on the issues I care about
- connect with people who have enriched my life and biz
- be told, repeatedly, that people have changed their world view significantly because of my influence (paying clients AND free community members)
- FEEL SEEN AND HEARD
Babes, let’s talk about that last one- because you and I both know that women who admit and demonstrate that they enjoy this kinda thing- being the centre of attention- are mocked, demonised, humiliated, and the rest, as described above.
And yet, it’s a basic human need to be witnessed and valued for your contribution. I want my contribution to come, at least in part, in the form of my ideas, and the way I express them. I refuse to be valued only as a source of unpaid childcare and household drudgery, or other activities that contribute to economic growth.
I have a lot of thoughts. I have a lot to say. And I’m sure you do too.
I’m also a mother of 2 boys (commonly referred to as the pigs/ piggies/ piglets), a Northerner (Yorkshire. Ok Doncaster), living by the sea in Essex, and a full time feminist killjoy.
I’m a trustee and active member of All Rise Collective.
I fucking love to read. Just finished ‘How To Kill Your Family’, which had one of the best endings ever, and served to amuse/ irritate/ concern my nearest and dearest milling around me as I turned the pages.
Deep down, I’m instagram basic babes. I started growing veg this year. I painted my bannister pink. My house plants are very important to me. I just discovered a skincare routine in 2021. I’m predictably vegan. Etc, etc. You get it.
You will not like working with me if: You vote Tory. You are after a one size fits all, easy to follow system. You want to go straight to solutions without really understanding the problem. You don’t like swearing. You don’t like GIFs.
The outcome of this work will NOT BE that you wake up every day ready to seize attention.
Babes, I do not. Some days I am all GIVE IT TO ME, TELL ME I’M FUNNY AND CLEVER! Others, I’m in a place of ‘I can offer words, but not my face’, and occasionally it’s just not happening, and guess what- that’s alright. You don’t have to be a performing monkey to advance your ideas. You’re a human. You’re a woman in the Patriarchy. You’re allowed space and privacy to exist without being commodified.
By learning to harness the power of attention well when you ARE in the mood, (or maybe in the vibrant parts of your cycle, for example) you can feel more relaxed about being less seen at other times.
The outcome of this work, should you engage with it fully, will be a shift in your relationship with attention, and with yourself.
This will facilitate the expansion of your comfort zone (babes, the magic isn’t outside of it- that’s called BUM CLENCHING TERROR. The magic is just at the edge, where your head tingles a bit, like you can imagine feeling the new neural pathways forming as you do something unfamiliar, and your heart feels like it’s expanding n your chest in proportion with your courage.).
£597, 3 monthly payments of £199, 6 monthly payments of £99.50
I want a bit more though…
I hesitate to say ‘VIP’ option because we are all very important people babes. That’s the lexicon of this industry, but you know what I mean when I say a bit more…
If you’d like to have a 60-90 minute 1:1 call with me to take any time up to Friday 10th December 2021, you can upgrade your Attention Seizers experience here. You can use the call for coaching, mentoring, consulting or a mix of the above. My usual rate for this service is £300.
What’s the refund policy?
Refunds will be given in full within 14 days of your purchase, if the work has not yet begun. Once the work has begun on 1st October, no refunds will be given, so please invest with intention.
Can you say a bit more about the format Kezza?
Of course. Your weekly content will be in video and transcript form, posted in our Facebook Group each Monday. Each Friday there will be a live Q&A at 11am where you can ask me anything. You can submit Qs beforehand if you can’t make it. Throughout our time together, you can also use written posts, videos or livestreams in the Facebook group to share your experiences and reflections, and to ask for coaching and support. I’ll be around Monday- Friday for responses within 24-48 hours. So that’s 6 sessions, 6 Q&As and access in between, for 6 weeks.
When does it start?
Opening Circle is Friday 1st October at 1pm. Week 1 begins Monday 4th October.
What happens at the end?
You’ll get ongoing access to the materials in the Facebook group.
I have a question…
Drop me an email firstname.lastname@example.org or send me a DM on instagram (I’m not around there on weekends).